Time and again we have come across the phrase “coming out of the society of patriarchy”. But the question is, Are we out of it? Or the struggle is still on? If the struggle is still going, then when it will end? Will we be ever able to come out of the tag? At this moment what best we can do is presume. Kicking out patriarchy from India is like digging for water in a dessert. We can see the wet land now. Still finding water of a society of equality is near? Is far? We don’t know.
India’s patriarchy is like a heavy crown. Crown as it differentiates between dominants and non-dominants and Heavy as the crowned one say. In my opinion patriarchy has done equal harm to men and women both. On one hand it has made women rights scares, on the other due to patriarchy extreme definitions are set for men. On one hand it has made women inferior, on the other hand it has loaded men with profound responsibilities. It has made both male and female choices against their will. Men share the burden of the Heavy crown. They are made puppets of a play where they seem privileged but in actual are confined to play a role against their will.
Since childhood a boy is advised to be strong: you need to be strong in future you have to balance a family on your own not to cry: you must not cry like a girl! Be a man, only weak people cry, act like a gentleman. you’re a man go ask her out, drink plenty of red wine that is what gentlemen do. Get involved in sports: dude why are you not into sports? Don’t be a faggot, pick your favorite player. You gotta teach your kids the same one day study subjects like science which sound manly cause arts is for weak people and you are not weak! You are a man. Be a man and yes you can’t ask for help because you the most privileged gender.
Its just a lizard, be a man. Dont get afraid of that little thing.
Above listed sentences are the most common sentence a boy comes across his life. What kind of privilege is this? What kind of freedom is this? Equality cannot be achieved until and unless all the genders feel free, until all the genders are looked upon similarly and any cry for rights and freedom is not ignored just on the basis of history or past. Isn’t it surprising that being society of patriarchy there is no check for domestic violence against men in India, The section 113b of Indian Evidence Act, 1879 says that if a married women committed suicide within seven years of marriage, it must be assumed by the court that the husband and the family abetted the suicide. In India, child custody can only be granted to the father if the mother is mentally unstable or has left home leaving behind the child, due to a very important image of men in society several men face problem in reporting rape. Men can’t even report any kind of sexual harassment done with them at home or workplace as the law is not gender neutral. Yet men are privileged and this is a society which makes men superior.
Recently in the BOIS LOCKER ROOM incident when it was found out that a girl disguised as a man even texted in the group, no questions were raised. When inquired she lashed out saying “I was just checking their character”. Here the question which prevails is not what if a guy did that? The question is how can someone help others make a judgment about someone’s character? Disguising as someone else and by pulling all this on social media and defaming them in front of a million people right? It is known what the boys did in the group was inappropriate so was this act done by this girl. Youth wants equality which demands unbiased voices and the spirit of truth.
Rising feminist moments across the globe has helped women to not a lot but some extent still there can’t be seen any voices to free men from the crown shaped cage of patriarchy . Today’s youth demands freedom irrespective of gender or past experiences. And maybe it’s the time to pull down the crown.
– SYED TAQUI HAIDER